Wednesday, March 31, 2010
This is a phrase that people like to throw around a lot. Some have cut-offs others don't care and some have a small window or range to work within. Myself I am always willing to try and see. I think everyone is different and you never know unless you try. Date #5 is ten years my senior. Judging from his photo he seems to take very good care of himself, and from what I could tell in the emails very nice. So we decide to meet and he picks Cheesecake Factory. I drive out there from work still in my business casual which I hate, but whatever it's just a date. I arrive early and send him a text he said that he will be down in 10min. I sit at the bar and he comes in and orders a drink and sits next to me. We both decide that sitting inside on a beautiful night is such a waste so we request an outdoor table. We sit out at the table and he confesses that he hates the Cheesecake Factory. This statement I am still confused by. Perhaps he didn't care where the drink was and he just wanted to check the goods. Whatever the case we don't even finish our drink and head over across the street to a place that he really likes. This is another confusing move. At any rate we try to get a table outside but to no avail. We agree to sit in and get a drink. Conversation was light and very detailed on things like travel, work, personal accomplishments, hobbies, etc. Pretty much the typical first date. I head to the restroom after he returns from the same and we head out. I said that I had a great time and he agreed asked to see me again and walked me to my car. All in all a very nice time, and it is still to be determined if age will factor on this. I think that at any age he would be attractive and this is where men have an advantage on women. I think that there are aspects in dating someone older that know no age, like, humor, manners, confidence, and consideration. These are the things that should matter the most as these things don't age and therefore do not run the risk of expiring. The other aspects that I am sure you can guess can and are not what build a relationship. However, are still meaningful in sustaining or bring two people together. I think age very much matters and it's where your weights are on the aspects that have expiration dates that determine how much.
So after a few emails back and forth we decide to meet for a round of salsa dancing. Not your average first date, but then again I would rather not be average. Now do I salsa dance? If you count crashing a salsa lesson in a Mexican Catina after a night of excessive drinking then yes I am a professional salsa dancer. On this particular night I agreed to make my way to a local bar that hosts a salsa night to meet my potential suitor lets call him date #4. Now as I have progressed in my dating skills I even surprise myself that I am in no way uncomfortable with this situation. I show up pay the cover and head to the bar. I receive a text saying that he is on his way and that he will be there soon. Late is never a good impression. I decide to get myself a drink and before I can take my first sip I am asked to dance. Now I have been out dancing a few times (I know I joked earlier) but these people were amazing dancers. I warned my dance partner that I was not any good, but he didn't seem to care. With my date no where in sight I really didn't have anything better to do than to dance. After the first round of embarrassing myself I plop down at the bar for a time out. He talks to me for a bit and then enter stage right my date. He looks how I expected him greets me with a smile and a hug very friendly. We head to the dance floor and I warn him that I am no professional and he seems unfazed. He then asks do you take the 1 or the 2. When I say "I have no idea what you are talking about" it becomes very clear to him that I am a beginner. Now I don't feel that I in anyway mislead him, but perhaps he just expected something different. Expectations will get you every time. I feel they ruin the little things in life that can be the best surprises. At any rate I finished the dance and I could tell that he lacked the patients to teach me so I headed back to the bar. He followed and ordered a drink. As we sat there another guy asked me to dance. Since my date lacked interest at that point who am I to turn down a dance. So back to the floor for another round. Then something surprising happened my date wanted to teach me to dance. He gave me a short lesson and then asked if he could head out for a dance with one of the instructors that was there. I gave permission and headed back to the bar to close my tab. As I stood there I was asked yet again to dance by another person. He was a tall dark and handsome dance instructor so of course I said yes. He was a great teacher and easy on the eyes. After our dance I told my date that I needed to take off and he walked me to the door, gave me a hug and off I went. Now if you are into salsa and you are a single lady I would say this is a great place to hang out. I don't feel like this date will really go any where, but he was a lot of fun and I could see us being friends.
So on this dating scene boring is not a word that I would use to describe my current experience. Date #2 has made a repeat appearance on several occassions, but sometimes is very difficult to see what is going on. On the surface very complimentary and likes to make plans. However, when you travel a bit deeper there is something missing that I can't quite put my finger on....or maybe I could. At times distant and others right there along with me. Like one of my good friends likes to say "time will tell". So I guess the blogging continues.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
So as this dating adventure progresses you learn a lot about yourself and people in general. With date number 3 I have learned that while in a dating scenario you know within the first 10 min whether you want to see them naked or not. Case and point: I will have the oriental salad hold the onions. So I was running late all day late to yoga class, late to meet my potential new roomie, late late late. I was bound and determined to be on time. I leave my house 25 min till and arrive to my surprise right on time. Now this is my third date in about two weeks so blind dates are now becoming old hat. I walk into the restaurant and scan the area.....no body builders in sight. Date #3 is very toned and handsome no one fits the description. I leave my name at the host stand and only the cheesecake factory would have a 30 min wait on a Sunday evening. As I grab the buzzer I get a text asking me where I am at. Inside the restaurant duh...this is where we are meeting right?? So I wait a bit and he walks in I can tell he is nervous, and then he confesses that he had been waiting in his truck because he came super early to insure he was on time. We are waiting for the table chat a bit about the weekends events. Then the buzzer goes off. We are seated at a half booth half table arrangement. He says if you would like the booth it's yours. Just what a lady likes to hear. So I slide in and he sits down across from me. The waitress wastes no time to inundate us with the novella that they call a menu at this joint, and if that were not enough she begins to site page numbers and specials. Then wisks away like a hurricane of bubbly animation. As we both try to shake off the overwhelmed feeling we smile and begin chatting on what really matters....how nice I look. Well he mentions how nice I look and then we progress into the menu and what we like to eat. Now when hurricane Julie comes back to take the order I notice that he says "I will take the Oriental Salad but no onions". If this isn't a sign then I don't know what to say. Then as predicted we delve into deeper convo like his boxer pup grumpy and his potential trip to C-Bus this weekend. Oh yes friends he is making the pilgrimage to the Arnold Classic. Not to worry he has a neck and is very intelligent, and very considerate. Date #3 is Virginia's finest and this would normally scare me off, but he seems very not cop like. Our food comes we continue on to coffee. Then as we finish I can tell that if it were his choice he could stay forever. As we walk out he waits behind me and opens doors and then we are walking to our cars. This is always where it seems to get awkward. I give him a hug and say we should do this again. He laughs and says definitely and I begin to walk away. Then before I know it there is a tug at my hand and I am spun around with a tongue in my mouth. What the F! Well he is hot and he didn't order the onions. With a somewhat drawn out smootch I am now on my way. I am writing this the day after and I can tell you that since then he has called with a promise to do something next week. Must have been something in that kiss. Also since then Date #2 has called with an intent want to see me again. So the plot thickens...as both are quite endearing in their own way. Let the games begin!!
Friday, February 26, 2010
So date number 2 on the match.com scene. This was definitely a nice surprise. We arranged a date via text message after just a few exchanges over e-mail. I knew that he was good people after he told me that he was from the Detroit area. Most people would beg to differ, but after living on the east coast for 4 months the mid-west swagger is something of an acquired taste. I trusted my instincts traded phone numbers and agreed to a dinner date. I know friends another meal.....totally against the first date rules. I firmly believe that the first date should be a drink or something that you can cut short if you feel the feelings are not mutual. So, against my better judgement I agree to the dinner date. I rush home put on something casual, google the directions, and rush out the door. As I approach and try to find parking I call him to let him know my predicament. I walk into the restaurant and meet him. He is standing at the table, and very handsome. I totally underdressed, and for those of you that know me you know that this is out of character. He gives me a hug and he is sitting next to me. Now from my dating experience the seating arrangement is critical, and tells alot about a person. Face to face like my day late valentine suggests insecurity and is very impersonal. My date was on the corner with me, not only that he called ahead to make reservations. We begin talking much like the other date. I find most of these are like interviews with drinks, but then something happens. We start making each other laugh. There were definitely some pauses in the convo, but he was very pleasent. I confessed about my earlier touch of death during a rock climbing incident. He told me about his recent interior decorating challenge. Overall a win-win experience. The bill came and he turned my card away (definitely a win). I say this because not that I feel that guys should always pay, but for lack of a better excuse it is always nice to be wooed. We chatted a bit longer about dental hygiene, and then we excuse ourselves from the table. Walking out of the restaurant we are parked in opposite directions so a hug and I'm on my way. This one was different from the last with a promise to see each other again. I walk to my car and drive away and before I get on my way I receive a text thanking me for a great night and hoping we do this again and a comfirmaton that he likes me. Overall a great success and this will be a continued blog......stay tuned friends........
Monday, February 15, 2010
Well this is my welcome to the blogging world. I have taken on the task of trying to find my best friend and equal and when I find him I want a record of how I got there. For this search I have decided that I need to employ and explore all options.Today was my first encounter of the online-kind. This started off for lack of a better description "nice", and ended with a slightly awkward hug. We met on Match.com, and for the most part I have not been able to find anyone that fits me exactly. Date #1 however seemed nice on paper and we had exchanged a few emails, and agreed to meet. I trekked it out to the city after the biggest blizzard to hit the D.C. area since god knows when to meet him. I get there on time which is unusual for me. Put my name in and head to the bathroom to make sure the hike from the burbs to the city didn't smudge me up too much. As I walk back to the door there he is tall just as his picture described him. I'm sure this doesn't happen all too often so I was pleasantly surprised. He asked about the wait when the host told us it would be 10-20 he asked to move across the street. A nervous request? or pressed for time? Who knows this is the joy of dating someone you have never met. We go across the street and doors are opened we sit at the table and the "where should I sit" dance around the table begins. Finally across from me face to face. We begin talking about weather and traffic. Subjects progress to family, where we have lived, where we hang out, business he owns, friends he has, share laughs and then we order lunch. There were some pauses in the conversation, but nothing to alarm. We shared some Mac-n-Cheese he had a lavender lemonade. Me black coffee and we both had salads. Seemed "nice" enough. Then the strangest thing happened. The bill came and we both paid got up and he said thanks for coming out. I said thanks for the invite. We walked out and he said I'm over here and you are headed this way so arms out he gives me a hug and says have a good day. Now I know what this means as much as the next person, but I don't know just where it went wrong. I wish that you could hand out customer satisfaction cards at the end of the date so to improve for the next go around.....Or maybe nothing was wrong just no spark. It would just be nice to know so you don't have a lingering what could have I done better feeling after. Well this is the first of many attempts to find him. I know he is out there it's just the where that I'm a little fuzzy on so the search continues.